Desire

I haven't run a lick since I found out I was pregnant. Now that I am not as sick, my pelvic bone has started separating and walking is becoming increasingly difficult. It happens every time, but I was hoping that my future daughter would be nicer to me than my sons, now I just think it is a foreshadowing of things to come. She actually seems to be lower than my sons, which I thought was impossible, yet I can feel her kicking my wooha basically. What this really means is no running till she graces us with her presence. This means the Seattle Rock n Roll Half is out for sure, as is my money. However, my sister has volunteered to push me around so I can watch Track Coach's first attempt at a marathon.

But despite the hardship my running has taken this year I find myself hopeful.  Why? Well as a huge surprise to myself, I still find myself wanting to run. I have never been a runner before, quite despised the activity in fact, and it wasn't until this past summer that I ever laced up just to run, and stuck with it. This then took me to triathlons as well and I got cozy with a padded seat. It was never particularly easy for me to make these activities habits, as I fancied myself to be the worlds greatest couch weight. My biggest fear as I have been pinned to the couch in prisoner type fashion, was that this immobile way of life would become my norm again. If I was away for too long, I thought I would completely lose my desire to sweat away the hours, pounding the pavement. But I haven't! And it isn't just the social aspect that makes me miss it, although hearing about every one's workouts and races, makes me a bit sad still, especially Rock n Roll. More impressively, when there was a clear night or sometimes even a rainy one, I found myself wanting to be out on the road. Sometimes just a good song would spur my desire to move. I am even still pouring through Runner's World, looking for tips and workouts, and I have a stack ready to go for when I am freed from my pregnant cage.

I may still not feel ready to rejoin you runners full time, as I have nothing constructive to contribute and feel a fraud for wandering in to this pool too often, but I know I will be back full time, and that makes me very happy and better able to deal with this hiatus. I love all the support and loyalty I have received from you all, and thanks for hanging in there.  My pleas to coach to share his marathon training with you all is falling on very tired ears as track season just started, but I promise he'll check in soon. So may you all rediscover your desires to run, bike, whatever and let them reignite your love for what you do. Oh, and I promise to post a pic soon as I am about 23 weeks and the belly is starting to show!