I am not the me I was a few months ago and it is killing me. It is not easy for any athlete to be injured, the sidelines is not where we like to play. I am finding it particularly frustrating because I feel like the running and biking was really helping me to get a handle on my depression. For the first time in years, the old me was able to surface and breath. All those endorphins helped to set her free. Now, she is feeling trapped again. Luckily, the Holidays are here and I am like a giddy kid. Nothing can distract me like Christmas. I have been shopping the last three days, and have already started decorating. There is plenty to keep my mind and hands busy with all the chocolate making, present wrapping, decorating, family visiting, but at night, though I am exhausted, I still feel incomplete. My computer sits in the corner untouched. No data to enter. No quippy posts to do. I feel like a fraud. How can I be a part of this world when I am contributing nothing. Not a real drop of sweat has been shed and my workouts consist of cornmazes and light hanging.
Of course here is a guy who should be
sitting on the bench! Sorry, Favre lovers!
Who wants to be my friend now? Listening to someone talk about mystery injuries is only interesting never for so long. I mean I can only bribe you guys with giveaways for so long (which luckily I still have quite a few more!) but even money and gifts can't buy love right? I wish I had a plan. The only plan right now, don't do anything till I meet with the doc on Tuesday for fear of causing irreveresible damage to my joints which happens a lot with long term lyme patients. But I am tired of letting the rest of me deterioate like last weeks pumpkins. I am going to be old, and shrively and moldy in no time! What do I do? Dissapear into the night like a great dream, only a memory for now, maybe to return someday? Let Coach takeover, though he is notoriously bad about posting? I hate feeling like I can't be with you guys right now. So my new plan is to make a plan. I am going to set some goals that my current crap bod can handle. Then I will post them, and hopefully you all can help me stick to them. They will be small and seem like nothing I'm sure, but I have to do something! That way, when I finally get off the pine pony I will be that much more prepared. Let's just hope I don't have too many splinters!